Category Archives: played it for 5

Super Metroid – SNES

I’m going to play the heck outta Super Metroid for a few minutes and live-blog it

Stupid idea? Sure. Boring as heck? Maybe. Am I going to do it? Yes.

This game starts out in a very cool way, bringing the player (that would be me) up to speed on Seamus’ previous adventures. Since I skipped straight to Super Metroid, this is pretty helpful.

Turns out that these Metroid things are the enemy and crazy dangerous. I’m guessing if left uncontrolled, they’ll spread across the universe. Think the Reapers in Mass Effect… or Tribbles

Anyway, I’m updating this post as I’m playing, and I’m about 5 minutes in and haven’t really faced an enemy yet (aside from a mini-boss? or maybe the actual end-boss who stole the sole remaining Tribbl… I mean Metroid). Now I’m on Planet Ceres exploring. I didn’t think this game would include exploring.

This all sounds a bit boring, but it’s actually more than a little spooky. The sound effects are ominous and there seem to be explosions (or something) in the background. And for what they’re worth, the 16 bit graphics are doing their best to freak me out.


See? That’s some seriously ominous atmosphere there folks.

I’m not super happy about having to hold the right trigger to shoot straight ahead… but we’ll see how that plays out.

Oh yeah, there’s also already been a number of doors I couldn’t enter and a bunch of spots that I’ll have to get the ball-thingy upgrade to go into. I’m not sure if that’s frustrating or bad-ass… Like, let me get into the game before I know I’m going to have to make my way back.

Wow, and BOOM there’s the ball-thingy (apparently it’s ACTUALLY called a Morphing Ball). PHHT 🙂


And then BOOM MISSLES!?! Have I mentioned that I haven’t actually FOUGHT anything yet? I’m getting a bad feeling about this…

Ah, there they are! Suckas tried to ambush me BUT I’M READY FOR YOU – PEW PEW PEW!

Oh, before I forget, I wrote a little bit about my history with Metroid a few posts ago. Basically, I have no history with Metroid.


Elder Scrolls Online: Logging in

Yes, sometimes I play games that have just been released. Try not to faint.

And yes, “Logging in” is possibly the lamest blog title that has ever been written by anyone anywhere. I don’t care. It’s appropriate.

I’m only about 30 or so minutes into ESO, and at Level 3 if I recall correctly, so I won’t talk too much about the quality of the game or compare it to WoW or anything like that.

I will talk a small amount about one particular thing that ticked me off.

To start, Bethesda made my favourite game ever, Fallout 3. Second, I got ESO for sale on Steam for 1/2 price ($30) including 30 days of playtime. Excellent deal. Third, Skyrim was the most fun I’ve had gaming in a LONG time. I haven’t played any earlier Elder Scrolls games (though Morrowind and Oblivion are among the long list of Steam games I own but haven’t played).

Thus, Elder Scrolls Online has a lot of rope with me.


You freakin’ guys.

I couldn’t login to the game after I bought it. Seriously.

Normal steps in playing a game you buy from Steam:

  1. Buy the game (why not? you got a sweet deal, else why are you buying the game?)
  2. Download the game.
  3. Hit ‘Play’
  4. DirectX auto-installs… again…
  5. Steam pops up your game key
  6. You Cntr-C said game key because, hey, sometimes you need it.
  7. If the game is kinda lame, you go to its website to create an account… *cough* EA *cough*
  8. The game fires up, you enter your account info.
  9. BOOM you’re playing the game and shooting zombies or whatever.

That’s like 9 steps max. More like 3 if you’re not an idiot.

ESO has a secret step.


Good Gord, what a piece of crap sign-in process.

After that, I had a freakin’ blast creating my Lizard-man stealthy guy.

PS – watch this video shared to me by Rocketbouchard.
Megaman + learning about learning in games = super-rad times.

R-Type – Sega Master System – Played it for 5

All I remembered was that this game was awesome. And it delivered. (seriously!?!)

I played R-Type for a few minutes yesterday AND IT IS FREAKING AMAZING! I think this thing did my grocery shopping, walked my dog, and invented happiness all while giving me a back massage and telling me I looked amazing today.

I love this damn game. And heck, R-Type probably had the coolest Master System cover (they were generally REALLY bad)

I think there are a few versions of this game, and certainly a few sequels, but I played the Sega Master System version. I remember vaguely playing this game as a kid, but it’s occupied a sweet spot in my heart since then… with River City Ransom and Contra… ahhhhhh

Really, what’s not to love about R-Type? Getting massive powerups (seriously, there was so much carnage that I didn’t even notice when I picked up sweet homing missles… sweet) to kill freaking aliens who are filling the screen trying to kill you… so good.

Read: my previous played it for 5, Altered Beast

And finally, for your viewing pleasure, an original ad for the Sega Master System… so good.

Altered Beast – Genesis – played it for 5

Introducing: “I played for 5 minutes”

In my journey through the land of old, retro games I’ve been finding that I’ll sometimes play a title for a few minutes, then put it down and never really get back to it. My hunch is that this phenomenon happens for one of a few reasons:

  1. The game might have a really steep skill/ learning curve. I’m guessing this is going to happen to me on real killers like Mega-Man. I remember trying out the series as a kid and having no success then – I’m guessing old me is going to get killed… a lot… and not make it very far.
  2. The game might take more of a time investment than I’m willing to give. Some of the big RPG’s will probably land here. Though, if I come to one of those games I really should know what to expect, so if I give one of them up it’s really on me.
  3. Finally, the game might just be rubbish. Let’s face it. Some games haven’t aged well. Some games would’ve appeal to a younger version of me. Some games have just always been terrible, which brings me to…

Altered Beast

Altered Beast is the perfect game for the inaugural Played it for 5.

This is a dumb game.

I think Altered Beast was originally included with my Sega Genesis when I got it and I don’t remember ever liking it. At least partially so, because I was epically and completely bad at it. Now I was/am bad at most old games, but I was/ continue to be ridiculously, embarrassingly, hilariously, side-splittingly bad at Altered Beast.

So bad in fact, that I don’t remember ever getting past the 1st boss.

I mean, good Gord! There’s a flying thing that descends on your head to kill you AND YOU CAN’T STOP IT. Stupidity abounds!

There’s a flying thing that descends on your head to kill you AND YOU CAN’T STOP IT

Stupid evil bird thing

Altered Beast is a bad game. It’s really bad.

And seriously, what’s up with this guy?

What's this guy's deal?