NBA Jam TE – Sega Genesis – Game the Game

JOHN STARKS! The dude I couldn’t remember from the Knicks is John Starks!

starksrules

BUT I decided that I wouldn’t go with ol’ Starksy for my first game, so I chose Da’Bulls. Now, this brings me to an ENTIRE part of NBA Jam that I forgot about: you chose a 3-letter name and immediately set about defeating the entire NBA, starting with the Mavericks.

So, needless to say, I dispatched of the Mavericks without a lot of trouble (I mean: Pippen… come on)…

iwin

In my massive 8 pt stomping of Dallas, I learned the following about this game:

  • Using your CPU partner is 100% boring, but actually works (I don’t remember this at all… did I always play this game with friends?)
  • I’m not as good as I remember. Seriously. I didn’t get ONE “HE’S ON FIRE”
  • I had a hard time dunking really awesome dunks. I don’t remember this aspect being that difficult. You know, the “jam” aspect of NBA Jam…
  • I didn’t get a single block
  • Mashing turbo made my thumb hurt (A – shoot; B – turbo; C – pass) feels like I used a different combo. ALSO, remember when the controllers actually made your hands HURT? Geez, my old man hands can’t take this kind of punishment anymore… probably because they took all the contorted-into-weird-Sega-Genesis-controller-shapes-playing-games punishment when I was a teenager
  • The CPU IS A DAMN DIRTY CHEAT IN THE FINAL MINUTES OF THE GAME AND YES I KNOW I COULD’VE TURNED THAT OPTION OFF, BUT SERIOUSLY IT HAS A BUILT-IN CHEAT MODE FOR THE DAMN DIRTY CPU PLAYER?!?!?
  • And finally, the defensive strategy of ‘knock the other guys over’ seems to work well 🙂

Never did figure out what the “TE” gives me… though I did see online that apparently it’s possible to unlock a whack of hidden players. Like, Bill Clinton…

If you’re into that.

Which I’m not.

Final game stats

finalstats

And sweet zombie jesus, if you REALLY want to get into the game without playing the game, I found a 4.5 hour playthrough on YouTube… so there’s that…

Because I don’t have a good way to grab video, want to be as multi-sensory as possible, and don’t want to deprive you of an actual review of NBA Jam TE on the Genesis by someone how sound like a game-reviewer, I found this for you:

… aaaaaaaannnnnnndddddddd

iforgotthisishowthesavingworks

Yes, I chose “ASS” as my name. And you would’ve too, you saucy minx.

PS – here’s the pre game.

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One thought on “NBA Jam TE – Sega Genesis – Game the Game

  1. Pingback: NBA Jam TE – Genesis – Pre Game | forsoothed, you filthy animals

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